March 30th, 2009
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ELECTED OFFICALS FINALLY MAKE IMPORTANT DECISIONS!
1. Mayor Sally Mackay stated today that she had requested County Chairman Frank Bruno to unify the New Smyrna Beach Fire Department with the County Fire Department as soon as possible, but no later than October 1, 2009. She stated for the record that she did not want to put up for one minute longer than she had to with the incessant demands for pay and benefits from the overpaid and underworked fire department personnel and that she thought that the County should have these prima donnas. Just like Winter Springs which shucked its fire department last October, she said that she did want to deal with them anymore because she was just plain tired of their bellyaching.
2. In a press release this afternoon the City stated that it had authorized its City Manager to request Volusia County Sheriff Johnson to immediately submit his plan for providing police service to New Smyrna Beach. It announced that the City had issued dismissal notices to three of the four Commanders and five of the detectives contingent on the take over date. It was requested that all patrolman and clerical personnel be given positions with the Sheriff’s office where possible.
3. In other news Police Chief Ronald Pagano has decided to reorganize the police department to eliminate four Commanders and replace them with two Captains and two lieutenants which is more appropriate for a police organization of New Smyrna’s size to give taxpayers the benefit of a reduced budget in these hard times, it was reported today .
4. Also in the news today Fire Chief, Tim Hawver, reported that all lieutenants would be eliminated from the fire department and replaced by the senior person assigned to an engine. The position of assistant Fire Chief would also be eliminated in a budget saving move.
5. The Utilities Commission was informed that Governor Crist was so upset about their failure to address a $350,000,000 co-generation plan submitted to it by Florida Rural Cities and Communities that he ordered the Florida Department of Law Enforcement to investigate. Volusia County employment is so depressed that it was inconceivable to the Governor that this was just another innocent case of gross mismanagement but that it might border on some unknown more sinister plan to deprive citizens of a stimulus as well as keep electric rates high.
6. The headhunter for the replacement of the City Manger has submitted a list of the five most qualified candidates. It includes two blacks, one Hispanic, and a Muslim. Two are woman and one is gay. The head hunter made it crystal clear that the only white males approached said that long term employment did not seem in the cards for a white male in New Smyrna Beach and withdrew their applications after seeing the video clip of Mayor Mackay speaking on the issue of the Angler’s Yacht Club LINK). They refused to say whether it was what she said or how she said it.
7. The Angler’s Yacht Club has decided to admit as a member a black woman who handles submerged land permits in order to prove to her that they are not discriminating. Otherwise she might withdraw their permit. All 90 members were recently confronted with the thought that a large part of the populations might not want to do business with bigoted red necks who fancy themselves the blue-blood elite of a déclassé broke-down town in Southeast Volusia County. They plan to hold an open house next month for those residents who live west of the rail road tracks.
8. The City withdrew from its participation in the 911-RCC service and that function will now be performed by the County unified service at a fraction of the cost.
9. It was reported by the City today that one of the lowest elevations in town, the old High School site, was inappropriate for a new City Hall and auditorium that was supposed to be a hurricane and storm shelter. You see, that is supposed to be on the Mainland and hopefully at a higher elevation. The City Manager declared the idea of spending City money there was imply not going to happen.
10. The County Council announced last week that since the Community Redevelopment Agency, here and elsewhere, had squandered money on things like beer busts, and were buying pieces of property for inflated prices that were neither necessary or prudent, they were going to abolish them as separate tax districts.
11. Bert Fish Hospital District has decided that it does not need to collect huge taxes to treat indigents since even Halifax reduced its tax significantly last year while it raised its to the highest rate in the State.
12. The School Board announced that instead of axing teachers at the New Smyrna Beach High School it retired the principal, and let go five of the assistant principals.
13. The City reported today that the Municipal Golf Course would be sold to the highest bidder in an effort to recover losses experienced in recent years.
APRIL FOOLS!
